butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
