Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
