I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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