it wasn't lemon gatorade
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
