pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
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This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
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I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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