I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
