Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
