she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
