Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
