Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
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your like the ambassador to my penis.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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