which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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