Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
