You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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