Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize