We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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