I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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