you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
