the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
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