I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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