9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
