had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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