maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
