Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
