his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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