There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
