and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
