dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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