yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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