You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Is it penis luge time yet?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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