addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
