its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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