glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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