franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
