Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
