Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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