Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
