i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
