i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
