last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
