well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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