i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
