im six kinds of drunk right now
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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