I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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