Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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