I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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