is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
