You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
