oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
