I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
