I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
