My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
