We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
