I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
