doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
