that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize