Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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