Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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