so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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