he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
