did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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