I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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