I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
