I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
