Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
